Although I've never posted to you before, I have used your postings as guidance in my own 2 1/2 year voyage.
In fact, my H came over yesterday to talk to me after a couple of weeks of turning him down & I said many of the same things you said to your W yesterday.
After all that trying to get me to hear him out on something that could "save our children, me, & him years of heartache," he offered me nothing that he hadn't before, so I sent him on his way.
I think it was you who said they have to hit bottom fully, & really experience a "crisis point" before there's a wake up call. It looks like that's where she is now.
Although I understand the need & value to finding out the details of her A('s), is there any chance you could be satified with general outlines, i.e., names, places, length of time, etc. without going into all the sordid details?
There's that old adage about staying away from the making of sausage, especially when the sausage making has been extra ugly.
I do agree that she needs to come cleaner than she has, & come thru with full transparency & honesty. Considering she's so withholding with information right now, my guess is that there probably was something inappropriate with someone in your circle of friends. And yes, I would also want to know the participants.
BTW, thanks for all the paying forward you do, it's been an incredible help for many.
