This may sound a bit harsh, but I am a bit jaded. A bit angry you might say. You will find as I did, everyone's story is just about the same. My W just turned 40 and did the same thing. EA, maybe a PA. Don't know and don't really care anymore. Ok that is a bit of a lie, but it just doesn't matter at this point. I have told my wife, she needs to look in the mirror, own her situation and stop blaming me for how her life has turned out. I don't control you, you can only control yourself. I was just tired of hearing her say our 15 year marriage was horrible because of every reason you can imagine. I am sure you are getting much of the same. We all do on this board. But you have to look in the mirror, admit your faults, work on them. If she doesn't love you. Then you will find the right time to move on. You can't fix her and you can't make her love you again.
This will take time and a great deal of raw emotion. You will find yourself crying at the worst times. Crying to some people you don't know that well. People ask, and you just spill your guts.
It is OK. If it is what gets you through, do it. If the female coworker helps, do it. Go see a counselor. Do what you have to in order to get through it. It was eight months for me of changing, pleading you name it, I did it. A switch when off in my head a few weeks ago. It just said, it was time. Time to take control of my destiny. Take control of my kids lives. Limbo Sucks. I had enough of being walked on, being disrespected daily. I filed..
You have to save yourself before you can be there to save your kids. Based on your wifes behavior(suprisingly most spouses behavior is the same you will find) you are going to be the one who needs to be the rock for your kids.
When the day is done, you will get through this worst nightmare. As you know, you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy.
Hopefully, she turns and says what we all want to hear, I am sorry, I was a fool, I love you so much, please forgive me. It does happen once in awhile. However, must of us end in divorce. This place helps you prepare for that.
I do wish you the best.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
