I want her to tell me what she did and who she did "it" with.
In the end I have no pre-conceived notions, I look at it as just another man's penis coming in contact with my wife's vagina and when it's placed in such a clinical context, it's not as bad as saying a PHYSICAL AFFAIR took place.
But yeah I want to know.
I want to know who, how long the affair(s) lasted, what happened to cause them to fail, in the end I'm not anyone's 2nd choice and if this is all because she can't find anyone else right now, I'm not filler in between the last affair and the next show.
And yes I hear you, maybe my curiousity won't be satisfied but I won't live with that type of unknown in my life. I want full disclosure, I want transparency, I want the cell phone unlocked, I want to read the texts and I want to do it on the spot so there is message erasing and cleaning her tracks before she comes clean.
Call me curious george but sometimes a monkey wants to know.
Have you asked for these requests? Response?
Does she know it's non-negotiable?
What's her reluctance?
Her reluctance... she is scared, the game is over, she knows I'm for real and I'm not budging on this issue. And looking from her point of view, if she feels guilty for what she's done (and she does, if it were any clearer, it would be written on her forehead) and scared to admit the details of what she has done - aren't we all afraid to admit the bad things we've done if we've done them to someone who we love?
I've told her it's non-negotiable.
Yes I've asked, the responses I get are varied and include "I can't tell you and it's not as bad as you think...." and obviously that isn't good enough for me, you or anyone else who would ever have to go through this.
Plus I've had my suspicions about a possible affair that happened several years ago before the bomb and she's tight lipped about that as well. As my eyes start to open about all of this her mouth starts to lock down pretty tight!
