Love your advice. You are not a prick. You are realistic and take a good hard line about boundaries.
It seems that you got the bomb (Oct 2007) and discovery of PA (Dec 2007) around the same time as myself. I filed Jan 2008 because of her exposing the kids to her PA. My divorce was final on Dec 2008 (a year ago). She flip flopped during the year long divorce process and asked for another chance a week before it was final.
Like yourself, I did not see any effort on her part to take accountability, explain herself, or make the changes necessary to have a possible reconciliation. I felt she was just asking for a second chance mainly to save face. I let the divorce finalize and am a happy camper to this day. My XW got married to one of the OM this last week. It is strange in that she is 38 and he is 69.
I may not have the success you have on the dating front since I am a bit introverted of a guy. I am not out to score, but am looking for a strong long term relationship with intimacy. I am cautious now about jumping into intimacy too quick as that is not a good way to start a long term relationship.
I think your wife is having a major panic attack. She probably feels like she is drowning because of her stupid actions over the last 2-3 years. You know that you cant save her by being the fallback guy. Could she change? Possibly. Has her prior history shown ability to become an open book? No. She still wont come clean about the affairs. There is no way MC is possible until she reaches a point of willingness to be transparent in everything. She would need personal counseling first.
And I agree that you cant continue in limbo and letting your children get the idea from their mother that it is ok to be a cake eater. Let me ask you, if you had no children, would you still be legally married to your wife?
