rob, why exactly you refuse to give it another chance? Forgive me if I am slow, but what exactly is what you are missing? Honesty? Because, the way I see it, the kind of honesty you need, will be a long process, and I dont think she is refusing that. I think she is -in her panick- trying some "damage control". It's not easy to "list" your affairs, admit you've been a liar and at the moment she doesnt sound very stable to be able to tell right from wrong or realise the long term benefit of coming clean.
How about making sure she understands your prerequisites while making sure she is clear what is acceptable and not.
I've been living in a similar situation with my H (apart the sex thing). I dont know if anything he would tell me right now would satisfy my need for "justice" and total honesty. And he HAS been answering questions (couldnt deny the A, I have hard proof in my hands). K
