One more thought: finding out that most LD spouses didn't understand their HD spouses' suffering was actually important for me. I was all anger, all the time by the time I found this place, and I had become sure that my wife understood exactly what she was doing and was doing it for the purpose of breaking me down and controlling me. I was convinced. Not without reason, either, because I had explained explicitly how miserable I was and exactly why (as far as I understood it myself.) She had brushed it off and seemed not to care. Finding out that she had misunderstood me, rather than making the choice to hurt me, was a big deal. Unfortunately, believing it took quite a bit longer.
