Girl you sound soo much like me. I've been working on this for six months now, H has been gone that long. And, it is getting easier, at first it was hard. It's a learning process, you'll be fine it just takes some time.
Oh the lawyer thing was more me. I would call and make an appt, call and cancel, call and make an appt, call and cancel, once I thought things through I'd end up cancelling my appt. So the last time I was told that this was it and since that time I haven't thought about a lawyer. My H hasn't talked about it either.
In the six months that we've been separated I have changed soo much, anyway I think I have, but there are days when H still gives me the old "you haven't changed" and it so obvious that I have that I can now just ignore him and NOT take it personally.
And keep yourself busy, it really helps. Actions speak louder than words, this is finally making sense to me, also. It didn't at first, but now it does.
I hope you're having a great time, I'm going to bed now!!
Cathy
P.S. I have a great book to read if you have time. It's by Susan Page titled "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together" It was my bible for about three months. There are some really good things in there and I have a lot of highlighted sections that I refer to. Well not that I got the book out I'll quote you a paragraph:
Stop Coaching: No matter what our H is doing that upsets you, your relationship is more important than any particular behavior or habit you don't like. You husband does not need your advice, your sugggestios, your reminders, or your corrections, Give it all up , right now, cold turkey. You don't get to call all the shots in this marriage. You don't get to control your H's behavior. That wasn't in the marriage vows. Both you and your H will start feeling better right away when you go on total abstinence from coaching and advising.
