Yes, work on some cliff-notes GF! It'll help you to write everything out as well.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
No Dday there isn't any OW. What do you guys mean by cliff notes?
I think they are saying provide a short summary of everything to where you are now. Kind of like cliff notes is a short summary of a book.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Thanks Kevin. Well, we agreed to be friends for our D's sake and H is saying that D will be final in Dec of next year anyway. He is seeing D13 on a regular basis. There is no M talk or R talk either. One minute he is talking to me about his job and how he has to move again because he can't afford the apartment he is in now and then the next he says he cares for me but doesn't say anything about reconciling more like saying we will be Divorced by next Dec.
I reminded him of what he had told me that he didn't want the D and that he filed because he was mad and he is claiming he never said it. I know what he said when I got the papers (not to sign), but just letting me know that he had filed. I called him and asked if it was really what he wanted and he said no, but now he is saying he never said it.
Don't know what the heck to think. So the friend part is to get along for D13's sake but he did text me on Sat and said that he was done shopping for Christmas but on Sunday the above that I wrote happened. He goes from one thing to another. I don't know if he is taking his meds for his depression or not.
Where do I go from here? Do I go dark or do I text or call him here and there to see how he is doing? Could really use some help here.
Where do I go from here? Do I go dark or do I text or call him here and there to see how he is doing?
I'd go dark and enjoy your Christmas with your family that does want to be there. You made every effort. The ball is in his court.
If it makes you feel any better, I did not invite my W to Christmas Eve dinner with me and my girls. Not because I didn't want to, but because I don't think she would accept. And the rejection would probably hurt. So why put myself further in that? Make sense? You have done your part. Let it fall where it may now and focus on you and the kids and your family that you do have that wants to be with you.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Still a little int the dark here. What are the reason(s) that he feels D is the only answer? How long was the MR breaking dow? What occured along the way? What are his validations for flushing everything down the lue?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
He never gave me reasons, just that the M was causing his depression. See he stopped taking his meds which I didn't know 3 weeks before he left and that's what happened. He suffers from depression and refused to take his medication. He blames the M for his depression but he is still depressed and not acting like himself at all. He claims he is taking his meds again, don't know why when he claimed the M caused his depression. Now he is drinking a lot which we all know doesn't help depression, but claims he is happy being alone. This is the second time in 13yrs. he has done this. That is when he was told he had depression (12yrs. ago). But he was only gone for 3 months this time it has been over a year now and he has his family involved which doesn't help at all. H was always an honest person and now he lies all of the time about me to his family. I guess so he doesn't look like the bad guy for leaving me and the kids.
Thanks Kevin. I know about the rejection. I have people telling or asking me if I invited H for Christmas, and I didn't because I was also afraid of being rejected and of course being hurt.
Good. Now make the best of the days ahead for the next week and a half. Enjoy yourself. Think about the smiles and joy your kids will have come Christmas morning and day. Do you have a good meal planned that yall can enjoy together? Are you making anything special to eat or munch on through the day? What plans have you made for that day with the family?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
We are going over the neighbors for dinner since my oven is broken I can't make dinner. But then he is picking D13 up after dinner. They changed my meds for depression so I need to pick myself up, because I've been a mess since he left. So I plan on getting things done that need to be done in the house big time.
