K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

W just invited me to eat dinner with her and the kids tonight and take them to see Santa together. Its her night with them. I'm stunned.

Kevin

[K4D]

The only reason I suggested that perhaps you should evaluate the notion of giving her a gift is you stated in a previous post that you had to give her something "in return" because she purchased you a gift. To me gift giving is because you WANT to give a gift, not to get something in return or due to a sense of obligation. IMO a plate of home baked cookies or fudge that you and the girls made would be a lovely gift.

I did want to give a gift. But I didn't know how it would be taken if I did. So I was being cautious. I am making fudge as I do that every year. Kind of a tradition of mine.

Kevin

[K4D]

So it looks like I am going to go home, get the girls, take them to the restaurant and W will meet us there. Apparently kids eat free there tonight. Then after we will get D7 dressed in something W wants to see her in and go visit Santa together. We are working out the finishing gifts for the kids. I was going to shop, so I will do that after Santa tonight and then try and get some gift wrapping in after. W offered me some cookie doe to make for Santa to eat late Thursday night after the kids have gone to bed. It will be really late since we are attending Midnight mass at 11pm. I just need to clear up with W what time she wants to come over Christmas morning.

Kevin

[K4D]

Things are looking up. After posting my resume last night, I got a call just now from an agency that wants me to come in Monday morning and talk to them about jobs. They said they only deal in jobs that would be a 40% increase or more in pay for me. They saw my resume and liked what they saw so they want to screen me and start putting it out there.

Praise God. Good things are abound. Just patience and faith.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Things are looking up. After posting my resume last night, I got a call just now from an agency that wants me to come in Monday morning and talk to them about jobs. They said they only deal in jobs that would be a 40% increase or more in pay for me. They saw my resume and liked what they saw so they want to screen me and start putting it out there.

Praise God. Good things are abound. Just patience and faith.

Kevin

Great! A positive to look forward to!

[Goodfight]

Kevin, God is listening! I'm really happy for you. Keep me up to date on how it goes. I got your message and responded on my thread.

[PMA_Baby!]

Good to hear. Pace yourself. You're on a rollercoaster remember? There will be highs and lows. Take everything with stride. Dont read into anything. IMO she is trying to feel less guilty around the holidays. Just do it ALL for the girls.

NO EXPECTATIONS!!!

Be like Shaft! one baddd mothaaa.

[K4D]

Kevin, God is listening! I'm really happy for you. Keep me up to date on how it goes. I got your message and responded on my thread.

I responded to your thread Goodfight. I still keep up with you.

Kevin

[K4D]

Good to hear. Pace yourself. You're on a rollercoaster remember? There will be highs and lows. Take everything with stride. Dont read into anything. IMO she is trying to feel less guilty around the holidays. Just do it ALL for the girls.

I am PMA. I was stunned to get the invite. But I am going to make it good for the girls. I am going to pace myself and yes, it is and has definitely been a rollercoaster. I remember. I am just remembering to be patient and take it as it comes.

NO EXPECTATIONS!!!

Be like Shaft! one baddd mothaaa.

I will. Thanks PMA,

Kevin

[K4D]

Ok, well, here is how my night went with W. It is a long one.

I left work and went home and shaved and dressed styling. I took the girls with me to the restaurant and W had just gotten there. We ate dinner together and W talked about her job prospects and I mentioned my appointment Monday morning. She again asked me about whether or not I made a decision to move or stay. This has to be the 4th or 5th time she has asked. I told her I decided I will resign. She asked for how long. I said 7 months since that is the minimum and then I will look for a place a little more north this summer. She said she also wants to move more north this summer. We both like the Plano TX area so that seems to be the target for both of us. Right then and there I knew this was not a dinner about any feelings towards me. But I also kept it in my mind that the chances were it was not anyways.

During our time together W asked if me and the girls were going to go to midnight mass Christmas Eve. I said yes and told her she is welcomed to join if she wants. Then D7 popped in and asked her to come also. W said she might. W said she also has 2 other services to attend as well so she will see. W also asked me if we were taking the girls to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie Christmas night. I said yes. Stunned in my mind because til this point she had not made any mention of me being invited and when she had spoke earlier more than once it was she was taking the girls to the movie Christmas night. So I guess we are both taking them now.

So during dinner W tells me about her New Years Eve plans and so forth and her friends both guys and women, etc. Blah blah blah.

So we leave the restaurant and head back to my apartment because W wants to pick out something for D7 to wear to Santa. The one outfit I suggested I had she wasn't sure about and wanted to see what else was available. So we came back to my place and she saw the Christmas tree which I had already told her the girls pretty much did it all and I was proud of their efforts even though it is definitely not a display model tree. She laughed and looked at it and thought it was great that they had done it as well.

Then she started going through D7's clothes and found what she wanted her to wear. So we got D7 dressed and hair brushed and pulled back and were going to head off to see Santa. W asked if I wanted to ride with them. I said I will take my own car since I had planned on doing some shopping after the Santa experience was done. She asked if we could drop my car off at Walmart and then drive together to the mall since the mall parking lot was going to be packed. I said ok. So we did that and I rode with them to the mall. And the parking lot was definitely packed so it was actually a good move.

We got inside and found the line for Santa and we waited for 3 hours before we were able to finally see him. Just incase there are questions, D12 had no interest in seeing Santa or talking to him or taking pictures with him. So this was a D7 event.

Ok, so 3 hours in line together. I played with D7 and joked around with D12. I also joked with W and even some people standing next to us. But you can imagine how hard it is to keep looking awesome standing in line for 3 hours. Eventually you run out of things to say and do and your legs get tired and you just kind of grow quiet after a while. But I kept positive the entire time. A couple of times I went to get us drinks since we were all getting thirsty.

So we get to Santa and D7 goes in there and does some adorable pictures with Santa that we just loved. We both agree on the ones we want and go in half and half on them. About 11pm we finally start walking out with our pictures and talking about our kids together. W tells me next year we should both take off for a day and do it together in the morning. I agree.

Earlier in the evening on the drive to the mall W tells me how much she spent on her brothers Christmas present who is over seas. Significantly more than on me. I also know she bought for every one else which is probably why she was short on money for bills this month. So she basically went cheap and simple on mine as simply just a little gift for a friend. So I am not overly concerned about how little I am going in on hers now.

So driving back we are all tired and D7 says to us this is the first time in a long time we have all been able to be a family and mom and dad didn't fight. W says that is true that W and I are getting along better now. I agreed. W tells me thank you for coming along. I said thank you for the invite. She says that she thought it was only fair to ask me to join and that if I had taken them to see Santa she would have wanted to be invited for that.

We discuss a bit more about Christmas presents for the girls and finishing that off as well as stocking stuffers for each other and if either of us had any requests on that.

We agreed that W would come over Christmas morning at 8:30 and we would make breakfast and do presents with the girls. Then at 11am we will head over to her mothers house with everyone else. It is going to be an awkward day with everyone over there, but I will make the best of it.

I did look good tonight and W even commented that she liked the shirt I was wearing and suggested to go with XL instead of XXl large in the big and tall now since I had lost so much weight. I agreed and said that is what I am doing as I am updating my wardrobe again.

W looked very casual tonight, hair pulled back and was just friendly all night which is usually the case when her hair is pulled back and she is dressed casual.

At one point she asked me if I could switch nights with her next week from Tuesday to Wednesday. I said sure. Then she said she had a guy who is a friend coming into town and she wanted to do dinner with him with her sister in law and her other lady friend. I really didn't need the details of why she wanted to switch. I don't know why she felt the need to tell me that. Then she told me a bit more about him such as he is a school teacher, blah blah blah.

Yes, I know. At certain points tonight I should have enforeced some boundaries on conversations regarding her New Years Eve plans and this guy coming to town to visit. According to her he is going to be in town visiting multiple people and she wanted to see him to. I also know that she is still friends with the 55 year old guy as he is one of the ones that will be in her group together New Years Eve. Apparently he made her smoked salmon and brought some in for her this week. I keep wondering where this guys W is in all of this. But I don't ask.

So what did I learn tonight? It was a coparent evening with what my W considered to be fairness when the girls are involved. It might be moving to the dreaded friendship realm. I guess a rebuilding of any kind has to start somewhere.

We did have bonding moments over our kids tonight and brought up stories together of our kids and how proud of them we are and laughed together about funny things they have done.

After we stopped off at sonic to get some food and drinks, W asked if I could run into walmart to get some medicine for D12. She handed me some cash and I went in there and got it. I decided not to go shopping as it was close to midnight after this and decided I would do it tomorrow after work. W suggested I run to the store on the way home and then pick up the girls and head to my place after so I don't have to pick them up, then drop them off, then go shopping and come back. I said that works.

D7 also has her heart set on a nintendo DSI and she even told Santa this. She has been asking and hoping for one for Christmas for a while. We had decided we would each half it and get it for her birthday. But she is really hoping for it so me and W are going to discuss tomorrow and we may just get it and used some of what we bought for Christmas as her birthday presents since it is only 3 weeks away anyways.

If anything was gained tonight it is that we started seeing that we could get along again without fighting and are able to start enjoying each other again. Outside that it is hard to say much else was accomplished as far as what I am striving for. One lego at a time as KJ would say. At moments I was a bit sad inside as I do long for things to come back together. But I know I must continue to be patient and trust in God and keep trying to improve myself. I did not show W though. I was pretty upbeat and positive most of the night except when I finally got a bit quiet just from being tired after a while.

Kevin