Ok, I called his apartment this morning to leave a voicemail. I just said that I didn't want to pretend like I didn't know what he was going by leaving a fake sounding message (mainly referring to his calls to my attorney), that I understood why he felt that our marriage was nothing other than sex and money, said I felt this way too sometimes in the past, but I felt we had some real changes made that could benefit us now. I told him I was going to counseling and for him not to give up on us and that he should hold to his plans to try individual counseling too. I told him I loved him and if he was interested I'd be at a certain place tonight if he'd like to come to join me.
Totally pursued! But from his past indications, the days prior to all this action with the lawyer he seemed to indicate that he wanted me to call him just to leave encouraging messages. I'm trying to be as encouraging as I can but I don't know if he's listening! I so want to call his work to get him to come around to not wanting the d!!!
He comes on Sunday to pick up the kids. How should I act? Should I come out and greet him? Or just have him come to the house and have the kids up front waiting with me inside? Man all this is just driving me crazy! I know why I'm fighting the d but he doesn't seem to care! Maybe I should just give in...I know the alternative is worse but if he's not wanting to see me or return my calls....I have no hope for the extension going through at this rate. He may just show up to say absolutely NOT Judge he does NOT want to be married to me!
I'm so freaking scared of being divorced! How can I see him with someone else...it will drive me mad! If I don't get anything promising from tonight or Sunday, I don't know what I'll do then. Go dark?
