So I would really appreciate more ideas for ways I can show that I have improved my ways. Or what you think he would appreciate.Your tupperware idea would have been 100% if we were together!
I need to work on asking him new things about himself without being obvious. He has made this so hard in the past (after our initial courtship phase) that I may have just given up after getting yes or no answers and little elaboration. For example, when I ask him about his work, he barely says anything, or if he would ever want to do _ and why. Or about childhood--he "doesn't remember." And I am the one who brings up things to talk about. This aspect of our relationship has always frustrated me but I just assumed it would get easier as we built a history together and as I helped him feel more comfortable or secure. It's not silent between us, but I need conversation about personal stuff to feel close. I also didn't want to hurt his feelings or alarm him by bringing this up (dumb, I know. I dated a lot before WH but relationships lasted 6 months; 1 lasted 1 year. Inexperienced.)
BTW, the thread from Marriagebuilders that was pretty close to my sitch was Kloe72 from 2003. In her case, she was separated 7 months prior to her baby being born. He started coming by to help around the house (she was pregnant) and she plan A'd him. Then when the baby was born, WH moved in just to help with the baby but ended up staying and they worked things out. But both of them never discussed their relationship or the future. They both avoided it until WH brought it up after he decided to stay with her. He said he missed his life and he just got tired of doing the bachelor thing while seeing OW. He dropped her suddenly when he made up his mind to work things out.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
