I do care about what my place looks like. I don't want it a mess. I just don't know that it needs to be 100% perfect of what W's standards would be. Thats all.
Leaving work now. D12 is sick.
Take care,
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
But my DB coach told me something I'll never forget, --"Contrast the negative images he's created to justify his choice, with positive images that undermine the negative. Contrast the warmth and love he can find at home, with whatever he's finding out there in the cold tundra..." and see what happens" and since it was only a few days, I was able to pull it off. We had a great Christmas...and another turning point I think. And more positive memories for the kids.
That's amazing! I love hearing this kind of advice and the effect it had. Thanks 25, your post back on page 9 about not wanting to grow up applies to me completely.
My .02 is this: buy her a gift. I don't see why it would be a question, especially after she got you one. She's your wife, you love her, this is an easy way to show it. Heck, I just sent my W flowers AFTER being told she was filing, and it worked. I'm remembering the fun part of romance and why we get into these crazy relationship things in the first place.
I know we're all hurting on here, and have gone through things a spouse should never be subjected to, but be careful bashing the WAS or projecting your own anger and sitch. I like Kev's idea of a gamble. Maybe it'll work.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
My .02 is this: buy her a gift. I don't see why it would be a question, especially after she got you one. She's your wife, you love her, this is an easy way to show it.
Ya. Just not sure what to get her. I will have tomorrow night to decide. Tonight went well. I got home, made dinner for us. We all ate together. Then we cleaned the place up in anticipation for Christmas day. I also excercised. I started our bible devos back with the girls which I had gotten away from for a while. Really no excuse. Something I said earlier in wanting to say I did it or we did it in terms of M reconciliaton. I should have said God did it once completed because in all honesty it will have been because of him. Anyways, posting my resume out there now. Got to get an early start for when the budgets open back up.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If you get her something make it small and rather inpersonal. No jewelry etc. Something you would give a friend.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So no new wedding ring right? Kidding. I know. I already got her a rotating silver picture frame and a santa coffee mug. Not sure what to add to that if anything.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If you're going to buy her a gift. Make it about the girls. Like a digital pic frame with a bunch of pics of the girls. Show her you still care, but that it's not all about you and what lose you're feeling. Your image is: You feel great and Life is beautiful.
So no new wedding ring right? Kidding. I know. I already got her a rotating silver picture frame and a santa coffee mug. Not sure what to add to that if anything.
Kevin
Yeah...No new wedding rings! LOL I do like those gifts you have. That is plenty.
Originally Posted By: PMA_Baby!
If you're going to buy her a gift. Make it about the girls. Like a digital pic frame with a bunch of pics of the girls. Show her you still care, but that it's not all about you and what lose you're feeling. Your image is: You feel great and Life is beautiful.
PMA
I really like that idea. We got one of those for my mom one year and we keep adding pics to it. Then its sorta from your girls as well.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
If you're going to buy her a gift. Make it about the girls. Like a digital pic frame with a bunch of pics of the girls.
I am running short on time as well as pictures to be able to put this one together by Friday. But it is a truly great idea. Maybe something to do for Valentines day? Maybe not that day.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think the frame/mug is an appropriate gift... useful but not too personal, thoughtful without going overboard.
The only reason I suggested that perhaps you should evaluate the notion of giving her a gift is you stated in a previous post that you had to give her something "in return" because she purchased you a gift. To me gift giving is because you WANT to give a gift, not to get something in return or due to a sense of obligation. IMO a plate of home baked cookies or fudge that you and the girls made would be a lovely gift.
