Lotus, thanks for the input. I have seen the Retrouvaille discussed on this site. I will follow the link. Maybe we can get to that point. I am trying to seperate the actions from the actor. I tell myself my wonderful bride is not doing these things it is her depression, her fear, her hurt.
Last night, I told my wife that I had bought myself a Christmas present and would wrap it and put it under the tree as if it were from her. She was flabergasted. She stammered around the topic. Finally, she asked if I bought her anything, I told her that I had. It seemed to really impact her that I was so accepting that she was so checked out.I then remained present to give her an opportunity to talk more but she did not, so I left the room.
This morning, she was wrapping presents for co-workers. (Yes, it did hurt a bit that she lacked interest in a present for her husband but had time to get gifts for co-workers. But I caught myself feeling sorry for myself and let it go.)I approached her and asked if she bought a present for OM also. She said she did not. I then reasserted my boundries. She tested the lines but backed off. I validated her feelings of anger and confusion without disagreeing with her. She tried to pick a fight, but no luck.She then said words to the effect, 'You won't talk to me about anything but the OM and you won't talk to me.' I took this as a sign that perhaps she is in withdrawl from the OM and, hopefully, misses my company.
I am really starting to think that I need to take the next step toward healing our relationship, but I do not want to seem like I am pursuing. Any thoughts?
