hhh, you sound like you are in exactly the same emotional place I am in also. I have some really good days and some very bad days (but they are definitely fewer and shorter). I also received the D papers recently.....now I need to deal with that %$#%^^ over the holidays....joy.
I am hoping that, some day, when I am fully healed and LOVE myself, that I will once again find love in my life.
Me 44/W 32 S1 M8 Bomb 9/25/09 Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)