Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

I know only to believe half or less of what W says...but she says he ran for the hills. Coupled with the fact he is a very good friend, she claims she is going cold turkey. He wants nothing to do with this situation and she doesn't want to hurt him or his family. We'll see.
Actions: she told me she took the password off the iphone so I could check it whenever I wanted and she admitted to having previously bought a tracphone with the pay as you go minutes. That is one that I suspected her of, but had never accused and had never proved...now I know I was correct.
She is sleeping in the guest bedroom for the 2nd night in a row and this is the only 2 times in our 14.5 yrs of marriage...even after she dropped the bomb that she would be leaving next summer, we slept in the same bed. Whatever. Guess it'll be a positive sign if that arrangement ever changes.

Probably time for me to re-read DB and/or DR...since all my efforts before were not really being noticed since she was so distracted by OM.

Another positive sign, not for me, but for my kids which made me feel real good. I watched her give the D some no kidding focused, one-on-one attention tonight for the first time in a couple of months. Was good to see. W used to me a great mother, not so much here lately.

I am having trouble with a couple of things, would like some advice. First thing I am still struggling a little with is detachment since we live in same house with 2 kids and work together. Second piece is that balance between GAL/giving her space and her being able to see I've changed (which I have...hit rock bottom, had to fix myself) especially after her comment tonight that I had been distant for 14 years and so she finally said screw it, I'm done.