Very sad for both of you. But you do realize, of course, that this was almost certainly like another extended period of molestation and sexual abuse in terms of her feelings and experience of what was going on.
That's a good way of looking at it. The description fits her.
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Until the two of you confront this aspect of your R,
I have done nothing but confront. To the point that she had a bad reaction to all my insistence on talking and confronting the issue. It seems she saw my constant efforts to make her face all the issues as a continuation of the abuse.
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And, neither of you may be willing to confront and deal with this until your M truly is on the line.
From my point of view, that statement is based on two false premises. (1) that I have not confronted, and that I'm not willing to confront, and (2) that my wife's lack of sexual desire is sufficient to conclude that she has NOT confronted the issue herself, or the logical equivalent, that by confronting, my wife will automatically desire sex again.
