I can honestly tell you that sometimes I hate myself because of the way I treated those that I cared about the most. Actually, a lot of the time I do! If I had known then what I know now, I could have prevented so much pain and hurt for them and myself. I hate it that I hurt my wife and the kids so much! But I have to keep living. I can't change the past; I wish I could. It's hard for me to live with the reality of me having done what I have. And it's hard to live with the fact that I know I have caused them pain and anguish that will last throughout their lives.
I really don't know what to do, or even think sometimes. All that I see to show that I have lived for 48 years is pain!
I'm sorry for her, and I'm sorry for you.
I hope that all I read about healing is true...for all of our sakes!
Sincerily, antlers
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
