Think OW is here in my house right now!

[aflowergurlie]

Haven't seen or heard from H since Friday. Could tell he had been home for lunch today. I have a feeling he probably just grabbed more clothes as well and won't be back tonight.

Saw my IC today. He also helped me in reminding myself of walking through this process even while being fearful of the unknown. It is very scary and it is the most ALONE I have ever felt in my entire life. No matter who I turn to, even with all the shoulders to cry on and listening ears, not one person in the whole world can help me with this. It is my journey all alone and it makes me feel so sad, depressed, and lonely when I have to keep realizing that.

Am feeling my strength returning though. Reminding myself of who I have grown into and this new person who is emerging from all of this. That the new me is incomparable to anyone else H will ever find or be with from this point forward (especially given his current choice). That in itself is very powerful and a huge motivator for me to continue working on myself. Just have to keep chugging along. There will be a lessening of all my grief some day, and at some point...just not right now, and I can, will, and do accept that.