No, don't contact her. She wanted to be away from you. Don't forget that she made that choice. Don't you think to say "happy" anniversary would be inappropriate?
If she calls you and says something about the anniversary, then you can say, "Oh, that's right.....it is our WA". Don't add anything else b/c you can count on it leading to a R talk.
It seems to be a problem for all the LBH's, but that is how I see it from the WAW view point.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm sure it does. I can't even remember my anniversary the year I was in my EA. I know I did not get a card of gift or even recognized it to my H.
There are some who disagree with me about Christmas gift giving to their WAW's who are in A's. They say this is the "time" to show forgiveness and unconditional love, etc. I say it is an excuse to pursue. If your spouse wants to get away from you and perfers OP, why run after them to give them a gift?
Christmas is special to me, but as some would say....everyone should be like they are on Christmas all year long. So.....back to it being an excuse to pursue. A LBS can use any occassion (such as anniversaries) as their season for unconditional love & gift giving. Many refuse to see how it works better for the LBS to go dark and be unavailable on that special time. Some see....and yet do the what they know they shouldn't.
Have you made plans to do something for yourself?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I am a manager at a small company. Have several single individuals working there. I have invited (opened up the house) these individuals to my home for the holidays. I will cook up a feast, and all who show can join right in. We are a big fam at work, now, aside from a company X-mas party, we can share our time and have it be a bit more meaningful.
BTW... today was anniversary... W called 3 times.... I did not answer.
I will not give her any gifts for anniversary and she is x'ed out also for Christmas. prob fine with her anyway. I hope this works.....
I will say this; I hope next years anniversary is better!
BTW... how do you make those "quote" boxes on your threads?
That's why I love you S2.... always right on the money...
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
BTW... today was anniversary... W called 3 times.... I did not answer.
Good for you!!
***************
Making quotes can be accomplished different ways, I think, but here's how I do it. I highlight the part I want in the box. Then I go to edit on the menu to copy and paste. Then after I paste it, I once again highlight it and go to the top of this reply space menu and click on the quotation button. I'm not good at explaining technical stuff....lol.
****************
BTW, are you prepared to answer any questions your employees will have about why your W is not there for the Christmas get-together? Do they already know about the separation?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
BTW, are you prepared to answer any questions your employees will have about why your W is not there for the Christmas get-together? Do they already know about the separation? [/quote]
They already know I'm S. Don't know about the PA. All these people that are coming over, and there are only a small handful are D themselves. They will not talk to me about it much. We will just have a good time.
Thanks for trying to explain the quote thingy... still can't get it'
Off to work... Talk to ya later
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
