sandi...yes it seems like we are where we were before she left Oct 1. She returned Oct 13. She did appologize and said she really wanted to try to work things out. For a few weeks she seemed upbeat and happy, then back the way things were. No she did not have to face any consequences. I made the mistake of accepting her back without any. I KNOW Now this was a mistake. I believe you that she is not respecting me. A while back she made it clear for me to be more aggressive, more experimental. For over a year i've been Very aggressive and open to variation ,BUT...she seems to be the low desire one. But i tried and tried . Somehow she got it in her head that i was not sincere in my efforts and was not PASSIONATE for her. This is not true. I came out of my comfort zone big time but she claims not to be able to turn it on like the "flip " of a switch. Seems i'm damned if i do, and damned if i don't. When she came back Oct 13, she said she thinks that maybe she is "sabotaging" the relationship because deep down she feels she doesn't deserve me. She was abused as a teen by more than one of her late mother's boyfriends but she refuses to discuss this with a professional. I know this is beyond the scope of this site, but you can understand my frustration. Today she was playful and even talked dirty on the phone in a somewhat joking manner , but this confuses me. I really don't believe that she is playing with my heart and emotions, but maybe she is unintentionally.? i'm venting and rambling but you guys said that's ok on this site. Some of the advice has been similar to your's but in a more harsh manner. We have never really spoken nor acted harshly to one another. I know..try to be different, but i AM scared and confused. thanks for listening
