Need some veteran opinions for a newbie!

[kjensen]

Detach as best you can this early into the journey-it'll protect your emotions.

Being a friend is fine- it got my H coming back after the first separation, we'll see about now.

Continue focusing on you, GALing, protecting yourself financially. If H moves out, it actually may be easier for you, as long as you don't obssess about H's thoughts, whereabouts, the OW...Just don't. I know its hard, but if you can, it will save you needless heartache.

What I would have done different with what I know now, 1 year later:
-I wouldn't have sold our house(too much change for my daughter's)
-Stop obsessing over my H's thoughts, MLC timetable, the OW- stop snooping
-GAL sooner
-No excuses to friends, family, kids..basically no comment on H's wackiness.
-Gotten myself more in tune with my finances, taken over the finances sooner(since its pretty much my paycheck)
-Gone on that vacation in March and this December that I had wanted with the girls(D12, D14)
-Not let my H move back home before he was ready.
-Didn't respect H's request for distance and privacy sooner(have done this now)

Things I (think) I did right:
-Exercised!
-Took to heart the real issues/complaints H had that were valid and worked on myself-alot
-Read, read, read everything I could about forgiveness, affairs, MLC
-Confided in friends that didn't really associate with H
-Didnt talk to family about H's MLC(til just recently when H told them he was divorcing me)
-Learned to Forgive his affair. Forgave (in my mind) the OW.
-Remained and acted like a true best friend to H
-Remember why I'm still standing for my marriage and my H when I'm down...because I truly do believe H is a great man in a difficult place/journey, who I love dearly

Hope something in there helps!