I am of the school that you give a little information in hopes that it will be what they need to leave you alone.
I guess everyone is different as I was one that contacted OW when I discovered her...it did assist in killing the fairytale because now she knew my side of things...raised doubts in her mind...things fizzled pretty fast between them after that because she didn't want to deal with a LBS just to have my H...he told her things were over between us...I informed her that I had no idea things were that bad...
Confrontation is not for everyone...but for some it does work...I feel being cordial with her and my reply telling her he was fine showed that I was secure in my situation and clearly sent the message that she no longer needed to check on him...his wife was there for that...
