You know how you can act in a friendly manner to somebody you were just introduced to? However, you are just being nice b/c it doesn't mean you and that person are "friends". That what I meant by acting friend....ly.
There is a difference in going dark and detaching, IMHO. You can live under the same roof and emotionally detach from the other person. Going dark is a DB term that means you stay out of sight, no contact at all, etc. Going dark is more extreme.....thus the word of "dark" b/c they don't see or hear you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
