K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

CG,

First, let me again thank you for coming back.

I know what you are saying about how you would treat people sleeping around such as your H. And I understand why you are saying it and I totally understand your feelings about why you are saying it and have come to that conclusion. I also see the results it generates with your H regretting many times his still current decisions. What you have been doing has definitely had an affect there.

I also understand what you are saying about me crumbling when W throws me a crumb or being devastated when things have gone the complete opposite of what I have prayed and hoped for. But I have been working to try and change that. And in a lot of ways I have succeeded. I am a different person in front of W now than I used to be which you can see from my first few posts on this board. Ok, emotionally, I am still weak at times inside. But I don't reflect it outside at all like I used to. I have a firm control over that in front of my W. And patience, my gosh I have to have patience to have made it this long and still keep trying to give it every chance for W to reconsider. Truth be told, There is a decent chance I have the escape clause as far as a true valid annulment goes if I wanted to pursue it without it weighing on my concious from talking to my priest.

But that isn't my goal. That isn't what my kids want. And I am trying to stick this out every possible way until there is no way left to stick it out. My goal was to be married for life. And yes, while I made enough mistakes to warrant her at least wanting to be separated until my crap was in gear, I still have every intention of giving it my best shot to redeem this whole M. I would love for nothing more than to be able to look back and say I did it, and we did it and others can do it to.

So I have to take my opportunities that be very few and far between and try to make the best out of each one hoping each one leads to putting one small lego on the next.

Believe me, I have thought over everything you have told me and I fully intend to utilize some of it. Maybe not all of it. But definitely some of it. I think that is kind of the whole thing with these boards. You take some of the best advice that best applies to you and your goals and utilize it and make the best of it. You can't take all the advice on here or you would be spinning your head forever. But you and 25, and Jon and Wifey, and Coach and the list goes on offer so much good advice, and I am trying to put into play the parts that hopefully fit me and my sitch best.

So based off what you said, I probably will not go to all lenths to make the place as perfect as my W would like hers to be. It will look good, that is good enough. I actually needed to hear that from you. That was good advice.

As far as how to treat her, again, good advice. But I will engage her in some conversation as what would be the point of having her over and not? I just will make sure I don't overdue it and mainly focus on the kids and everyone and having a good time.

So I appreciate what you and everyone else is saying and it is great advice that I will be applying bits and pieces from everyone.

Kevin