Maybe I just hang around different kinds of men that have pride in their surroundings and *do* give a crap if it's a mess. I am not really sure why it's even worth mentioning. Not *all* men are the same.
I was simply pointing out that nobody's idea of perfection is exactly the same. If Kevin is pleased with how his house looks then he need not worry if others view it as perfect. Striving to meet another individuals idea of perfection adds a ton of pressure and right now Kevin does not need pressure as he seems to crumble when the pressure mounts.
The key to DB'ing is to do what works and stop what does not work. And thus far Kevin has hoped and tried to turn things around and so far that has not happened and there is little indication it will. So, still being the same Kevin has not caused his W to take pause. I am simply stating my opinion of course. While I understand what he is trying to do I simply disagree with it as I don't feel he is able to manage his expectations, excitement when his W throws him a tiny bone or be able to avoid the feelings of total devastation when things don't pan out as he hopes.
I don't know your situation, Jon but what I do know... FOR ME is that I will never advise anybody to go out of their way for a WAS who is still sleeping with other people. Hence the reason I said treat the WAS with kindness and civility but nothing more than you would treat any other human being you have contact with. Especially when a year, year and a half or two years pass.
I came back to this thread because Kevin asked me to. Anybody is welcome to cherry pick the ideas, advice or opinions that are stated and pluck out what they think might be useful.
