Cire, did you ever read Dr. James Dobson's book...."Tough Love"? I guess my idea of love lines up with his. A parent can't stop being a "parent" when their child goes down the wrong path......aNd we do keep loving them. But the way we respond to them may differ. But, when it comes to adults in a R, I just don't see taking some of this stuff as being what people call unconditional love.
To me, you are saying that you will love her no matter how much cr@p she piles on you. Can you expect a woman to love a man she can treat that way? If you do.....then I need to tell you something about women. They won't. She may need you....and use you....and even tell you that she loves you, but she won't...b/c she can't respect you.
Unconditional love in a MR is like if your S was in a car accident and was left paralyzed from the neck down. You wouldn't walk away and leave her based on the fact that she couldn't be the healthy person she use to be.
I know a lot of people don't see it the way I do, but I do not agree with allowing the other person in the MR to treat you any way they please and you keep allowing them to get away with it and they know you aren't going to change your mind about them.
If she knows that she can do that and you will continue to love her unconditionally.....what about boundaries? Can you have any boundaries if there are no conditions?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
