Doc, I was in the same predicament. I had simillar feelings. I felt selfish too. Now, I look at it returning to my bed as an important baby step in asserting boundries and restoring my own power.
In my situation, my wife and I were both sleeping in our guest room due to renovations of the MB. Once completed, she returned to the MB. I stayed in the guest room for about one week. I enjoyed it. I read when I wanted and created a chance to detatch from her. I never mentioned it, never said a word about it. Then, I decided to return to my bed. I told her exactly that. "I have decided to return to my bed." She was angry and slept on the floor of our home office the first night. She remained angry for several days. She tried several counter-measures, but I saw through it and refused to take the bate.
Doc, another thing we have in common is a bit of passive aggression. When you make this move, you have to expect a strong counter-moves from her. She will test your lines.
I urge you to set a short deadline. In the days leading to the deadline, take the focus off of your feelings of selfishness and fear. Instead, bring your attention to learing to control your passive agressive tendancies. She will counter move, know that, expect it. She will look for you to react to her counter-measures with anger and sarcasm. If you show these things, then, you returning to your bed is not about you returning to your bed. Instead, if you react with anger, it will be about more of the same old crap from the same old you, thereby, further justifying her thoughts and feelings toward you.
What you have here is a double opportunity to disrupt her existing world view. One, you get to assert yourself. Two, you get to show her you won't react in the expected, usual way. Nothing you can do will control your wifes reactions. However, your self mastery will control how you respond to her counter-moves, which, if replicated enough times, could confuser her stimulate her to abandon her defective outlook.
