Well, I feel like I am repeating myself so I hope I don't burn anyone out. What you see as you being shy, she may have become bored with that by now. I thought my H was cute and shy and all of that....but when I got older, I wanted him to be more agressive when ML. Maybe she has changed some old ideas & likes.

On your first post, you told that she had admitted to cheating and had left for her to have space....then came back, & has been in this stage about ever since. My question is......did she have to face any consequences b/c of her cheating?


If she did not have to to deal with any consequences and you welcomed her back home with forgiving arms (or ...you pleaded with her to come back) then that is not good. Did she ever apologize?

I still say that her biggest problem is that she does not respect you. I'm not sure you are seeing what I've tried to explain. You don't have to be a some kind of low-life person in order for her to feel disrespect. I mean, she feels turned off sexually b/c you do not measure up to what she wants in a man. Sorry for having to be so plain spoken, but don't know how to make it any more clear. You are continuing to be passive b/c you are (by your own words) afraid of pushing her out the door.

You keep asking what you can do to change her feeling like you are her brother.....and I keep telling you, but you are too afraid. Your passive fear will be what makes her walk out the door.......not standing up and being a man.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!