It's automatic when you feel it

[Kettricken]

Glad, super glad, that things are looking up, Cinco!

RE: your wife's apparent embarrassment with matters sexual.

Think back to all your infidelities. Were you in a hurry to come forward to her about them? Or were you worried that she would reject you? blame you? judge you? hate you? be hurt? How incredibly hard was it for you to come forward?

Can you imagine that she might feel the same way about openly displaying her sexual self to another person?

You would say and I would say that it's not the same thing at all. But to *her*, it might be.

I'm not saying "give up", at ALL ... but imaginative empathy is always in order.

It may be that you gotta give to get. Not openess with your sexuality, but openess and honesty with her in the areas where YOU feel vulnerable, scared, and less-than. Not to the degree where you become a sniveling weak weasel of a man .... but simple revelatory honesty. Sometimes, it does evoke the same.