Being approved for food stamps does not make your life sh*t. It allows you to have food and nutrition for you and your children. It means you are strong enough to accept help with grace and gratitude knowing one day you will be able to pay that same help forward.
I have been following your thread and I just wanted to offer you a bit of support.
I appreciate your kind words more then you will ever know...I have been in tears all morning since H sent me that email. How in the hell do I tell my little one his Dad doesn't want to see him?
Originally Posted By: rockedworld
Have you talked with your S about why he wants to go, his current feelings towards his dad, etc
They planned this behind my back as usual. I am glad I am at work and not around either of them. S wants to live with his Dad because I "parent" to much (his words not mine) and his Dad doesn't parent enough (my words).
I don't care that he has a relationship with his boys, I care he is picking and choosing to see one over the other. I care that my little one is going to inevitably have his heart crushed and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I care that my H may flaunt his mistress around my S and that he doesn't see anything wrong with it.
Today I want a divorce and I never want to see him again.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Hi Serenity, I can understand your pain for how this will affect your youngest son. As he gets older hopefully he will be able to come to terms (like you have had to) that his dad's choices are about his dad, not him. Love that little guy up with all the extra love you can give! About your older son, I have teens so I can understand your frustrations. They are self absorbed at this age and if they see a chance to use a situation to their advantage they often do. There might not be much you can do about that but you can sure keep those line of communication open with your older S.
I can understand you feeling "done" today. I struggle with those feelings and I am "piecing"!
You are in my prayers today my friend. Hugs and blessings to you! Rocked
I have been thinking about the crappy email H sent this am...Would it be acceptable for me to answer as follows?
Dear H, I don't condone this behavior from you. If you want to spend time with the oldest one, you have to spend time with the youngest one as well. As long as the OW is living in your place or visiting daily, neither of our sons are allowed over there. I don't want her anywhere near our children, not based on what you & her have done but based on the fact that I don't want them to think it is ok to act like this when you are still married. You may visit them at a public place or at my parents house. Serenity
Thoughts?
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Thank you for that...Someone told me today that my S acted like this because I was the "safe" parent - The one who was there when the other walked away - Makes sense....
Now I still need to set this boundary and am at a loss to do so - Any help would be appreciated - I haven't seen Puppy for days and I want to do this the right way.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Now I still need to set this boundary and am at a loss to do so -
I feel _____________________________.
When you do _____________________________________ (Behavior).
If you do ___________________________________________.
Then I will _________________________________ (consequence).
If you continue to do _________________ then the next step will be _______________________ (major consequence).
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When you __choose to see one of our sons' and not the other___________________________________ (Behavior).
If you do ___decide to go through with seeing the older S and not the younger S________________________________________.
Then I will ___ban them both from your house and you will only see them here at my house or in a public place.______________________________ (consequence).
If you continue to __pick one over the other_______________ then the next step will be _____custody arrangements filed in court__________________ (major consequence).
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I feel __hurt & angry___________________________. Good
When you __choose to see one of our sons' and not the other___________________________________ (Behavior). Good
If you do ___decide to go through with seeing the older S and not the younger S________________________________________.
Then I will ___ban them both from your house and you will only see them here at my house or in a public place.______________________________ (consequence). Ban is too harsh and sounds controlling. As their Father both the boys need to spend time with you. Letting the boys around your mistress is disrespectful to them, me and reflects poorly on you as a man and Father. If you won't agree to to keeping them away from her then I cannot condone them spending time with you.
If you continue to __pick one over the other_______________ then the next step will be _____custody arrangements filed in court__________________ (major consequence). Nice
You have to play hardball now. Can you handle it?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
