The 2 books that PH mentioned are very good. I read them both myself while H's PA was still going on. H claims to have read "After the Affair" after his PA ended and he was in a terrible state emotionally. I don't think he read all of it and I do want us to read it together when the time is right.
Coincidentally, H and I started reading part of Not Just Friends last week. There's a chapter in there on healing together and another one on forgiveness. I've read some of it aloud to H twice and we've discussed. We do this in small chunks no more than a half hour at a time. H says it's very hard for him to hear all this but I've told him that most of what's in there is exactly what I'm going through/have gone through and that it's sometimes difficult to express verbally exactly what I'm feeling. This way we both have an understanding of what the other is going through and we can discuss the points that we feel we need to address. He's still a little reluctant but has agreed to do this knowing it's very important to me. You may want to suggest reading one of the books with your H and see how he responds. If he's against it, leave it and try again down the road.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
