Offer her to go. Cindy is a big girl: she will have to decide what she wants to do and how much resentment she can take. But it is her decision. Do not make the call for her...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Morning coffee again and thinking about positives from yesterday -
1. I Called her on my wayto work (7:30) she had slep through alarm and was still in bed. Since she has to be at work (downstairs) by 8:30 she was glad I did call and wake her up so she could get coffee and shower by then. had a nice talk for about 15 minutes. 2. had some nice IM mid morning. 3. Mid afternoon she IM and asked me if I would help her draft an Affidavit she needed. 4. after I got back from court did another IM and did more work on her affidavit. She was leaving with her S20 who was taking her to Dinner for her Birthday. 5. at home after work I dug out my gray suit and found a maroon shirt and matching tie she bought me last year (have to wash shirt today though) Maroon and Gray look good together. [preparing for a date is a positive] 6. While I was on my home computer around 9pm she IM and said she just got back from her birthday dinner date w/ S. Said she would call but did not have my number totally memorized yet. Told her the number and that I was going to have to something to make her learn it. she called and we talked for about 40 minutes. A VERY BIG POSITIVE, SHE SOUNDED HAPPY. We talked about our upcoming dinner Saturday night and she really seemes to be looking forward to it and suggested that I might even come over earlier to pick her up that I originally planned. I was thinking that when we get back to her place after the Dinner we would build a fire in an outdoor fire pit in her back yard and put a blanket down and just look at fire and stars and talk. But I need to do some work on the fire pit before we can do that and she wanted me to come over and fix it. I believe the weather will co-operate. Should be almost a full moon, partly cloudy, and mid 50's. Backup plan - fireplace in her living room and blanket on floor in front.
mid afternoon positive - got an IM from ex this morning - she was down some because of a business problem. Feeling that encouragement only from the IM might not be enough, I called her and let her know I was in her corner and that I felt that the problem could be resolved. After a few more exchanges of support we each went back to work.
Just got a IM from her and she told me my support helped her then. I said I was really glad I could be there and she replied with a Star Icon.
Then she said "My shinning Star" I replied with Thanks - I hope I can always be too. She replied "me too" and the flower Icon.
Morning all - morning coffee time and positives to post from yesterday
1. already posted this one - she IMed me that I was her shinning star. 2. She had gone to dinner last night with sister and while there she called me on her cell. (she was on her third Margaretta and starting to get a buzz) said she just wanted to call me. 3. I called later at night to make sure she was home ok and she was. We talked for almost an hour and she reaffirmed that I was her shinning star lately and was looking forward to our dinner date tonight. 4. Asked me when I was comming over to pick her up and I said 4 (our reservations are at 6) to which she replied 3:30, to which I replied 3, and she said OK and I countered with 2:30 and she immediately said OK.
Well better finish coffee and check out everyone else's positives then get ready for the day.
You are doing soooo well! How can she possible keep from falling back head over heels in love with you? You are talking to her, listening to her, flirting with her, dating her, validating her, pampering her, gifting her, and probably just wowing her with your wonderful attitude everyday! You go, Bob!
Well - it is now about 8:15 Sunday evening at and I just got home from my Saturday evening date with ex. To say it went better than expected would be an understatement.
First of all - just taking her on her birthday dinner date is reaching one of my goals. But first, I got to her house around 3:30 and sat and talked some first - then she took a shower while I set up the fire pit for later that night. She had several outfits that she had laid out for the evening and she modeled them for me to see which one I wanted her to wear. I have had only one other girlfriend ask me what I wanted her to wear on a date. [This was not a met goal in that I did not even think to have that as a goal. This was just one of those real nice bonuses]
After settling on an outfit (a really nice purple/blue blouse and a black skirt and some blue high heal slip ons that I really like) [one of my goals was for her to wear those heels for me] and getting ready to go I gave her her birthday present. a 240 minute gift certificate to a Power Wave machine at a local tanning salon (the power wave machine is a type of bed that you lay on and water jets, just under the mattress part shoot jets of water all over your back as it moves from head to toe and back again for a long as your session. It can really knock out stress).
After some photos of us and each other and We went to the restaurant and had a very lovely steak dinner with a bottle of red wine, along with more photos, hugs, and kisses. After Dinner we went home and I took more photos before we changed then we got a bottle of wine from the Fridge and went out and started the fire in the fire pit and just laid down and talked and enjoyed the lunar eclipse (it was real cloudy and did not see much) Although we each had had some wine we really only had less than a glass per hour so I do not think either of us could be called drunk or even buzzed much. But the fire, moon, cuddling under the blankets etc. all led to her dropping her wall. And, under the full moon, in the middle of her back yard while we were under the blankets by the fire, we ML. [another goal met]
I had already planned to stay the night in the guest room but she changed her mind and I stayed with her.
The next morning I got up first and made coffee and brought her a cup in bed. We sat on the coach and talked over coffee for about an hour before we went out to eat breakfast. After that we went to the store to get groceries so that we could fix a lunch for one of her sons and his wife and two children who were bringing her her birthday present.
The lunch went very well - I helped with both fixing it and cleaning up (like I always did) and then we all sat and talked and played with the kids. While Ex was sitting on Front porch swing and I was sitting on porch in front of her she flashed me the American Sign Language sign for ILY. (something we had done to each other from right after we met to just before the bomb) [another goal met]
After the kids left we rested on the coach for about an hour then took a nice drive for about two hours. (the sun was out and it was too nice of a day not to go out) We stopped by a small restaurant and ordered 25 wings and after eating what we could, we went home. I then gave her a foot massage and then gathered up my things and got ready to go. Before I left I said ILY to her and she then flashed me the ILY sign back but then added the words too. [another goal met]
Although I since most of that WAW brick wall has been knocked down, all the old bricks of doubt, mis-trust, etc are still in a pile between us and it will take a lot of effort to clean them away. (and we must clean them away before we can be back together on a permanent basis) At least, however, most, if not all, of the brick wall is down.
