I think its great that there are chinks starting to show in her armor.
Xmas is always an emotional period in DBing. It's tough, Future, we all know it. This is why I suggested you move before January. Think of this as your LRT to break that barrier she has built around herself. Being away from the kids this Xmas is going to hit her hard. Its going to be up to you to keep enforcing so that she can break and start thinking, "Is this ALL worth it? Am I doing the right thing? etc.
You've created a crisis. Keep stoking the fire. I pray for you that she WILL break.
Stay strong Bro.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT