To me, perfection is obtained when you put all your effort in to whatever it is you are doing and you are pleased with the outcome. That is personal perfection (IMO) and if somebody else doesn't see it that way then so what?
If you are happy the way YOUR house looks and the events you planned for Christmas Eve and you put in all the effort you can then it's YOUR perfection. It may not be your W's perfection but the goal here is to create YOUR version of perfection that pleases you.
I used to be the most anal person on the planet and would spend hours making things "perfect" and get very bent if one little thing went wrong. I imagine it was terribly annoying to those around me. I was missing out on precious moments that everybody else was experiencing in order to obtain perfection. When in fact perfection really is more about the experience and not how perfect a bow is or how grand a table setting is.
It was thoughtful for your W to get you a gift that she thought you would enjoy. I think you handled that well. Do you feel obligated to get her a gift because she purchased you one? IMO that is the wrong reason to give a gift. I don't feel you have to give her a gift simply because she got you one. And you did say in your post "now I don't know what to get her in return". You don't have to get her anything "in return". Simply drop her a note in the mail thanking her for the gift as you would to anybody else that purchased you a gift.
