Greek, Thanks for the words. Do know that they would be ok financially together. My wife and I have quite a savings, so 1/2 that plus 1/2 his (and obtw a lawyer) and I don't think financial concerns will have a big effect on her mentality. With that in mind, what do you suggest.
Didn't you say he is married with three children? He's not going anywhere - whether he has the funds to do it or not. Men see themselves as providers ~ even if they are providers who have A ~ they generally don't leave. It's very, very costly to them. The scenarios I've read on this forum inform me that exposing the A to the OM's W usually puts a screeching halt to it right away. That's my advice to you. Your W will not stop it on her own, Gutw'ing. She thinks OM is going to be her soft landing after leaving you...which she has NOT done yet. Probably b/c ... OM won't pull the trigger on walking out on his family.
You don't have one chance at repairing/improving this M with OM around. You sound like you don't want to play hardball with your W. Anything short of a firm boundary with a stated consequence will not work. You have been irrelevant to her long enough to be involved in a relationship with another man, Gutw'ing! Laying down a kinda sorta boundary with almost consequences will not put you on her radar screen, will not highlight your strength, will not earn her respect. And without her respect, you are ... irrelevant.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
