Now I'm in the position of needing to file for D. H has cut of money to me. I'm a SAHM, so I have no income other than his. I'm in deep trouble as I don't have more than a couple thousand in savings that he left me. And he stuck me with a 5500k property tax bill to pay.
I've ignored all his text messages saying to get a lawyer, get a job, and I've stayed NC. But now I'm feeling I NEED to initiate contact. While we were contacting, I was being upbeat and friendly and no R talk, but he had a huge pullback and got nasty again. OW's ex H has been hassling them. They seem to feel it's "us against the world" and getting closer.
How does it sound if I give in with the NC since I'm in such a tight spot? I guess he's "won" with getting me to talk since he has the finances over me. I've met with a lawyer and getting ready to file, but maybe I should tell him?
I am in a similiar situation (minus the finances), my W is with OM and taking him everywhere. Family function and all. I, too, do not know what to do and want desparately to save M.
I will pray fro you and check in from time to time... God Bless you DbD
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
Day by Day, I have no great advice, sorry to say. This board can be slow on the weekends, maybe the holiday rush also. Hopefully on Monday there will be some people to give you some guidance Stay strong
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
How does it sound if I give in with the NC since I'm in such a tight spot? I guess he's "won" with getting me to talk since he has the finances over me. I've met with a lawyer and getting ready to file, but maybe I should tell him?
DBD, you know this is why he is doing what he's doing.
I don't understand WHY you need to talk to him though? What about? The only thing I can think of is to ask for money / discuss finances. You know he will use that as a lever against you so I think the talk will be futile.
Can you not talk to L tomorrow morning and explain sitch and ask advice on how to sort this out quickly?
I don't know how the properly taxes work on the US, but could you not delay it? He would also be responsible for payment surely as it's still his home too?
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
I know that I did not receive the property tax bill for my father's land one year (he is deceased) and it was unpaid for a year- not a problem. I just had to get it up to date. Not sure if the same is true for a house. Why not ask the people handling the taxes? Is it the town or county?
I don't think missing a payment is too bad. I think they give you some time... but I guess hearing answers from the source is the best.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
I'm thinking of not paying the property taxes. And not paying the mortgage. It hurts him too. What does he think?! I'm going to let any creditors that call know to contact him. If my car gets repossessed, well it hurts his credit too. We have another vehicle that is paid off that I can use full time.
You are right P, he's pushing my buttons. And I guess you are right. It'll be futile to discuss finances with him since that is what he's using against me. I'm going to try to keep going with the money I have left and use my credit cards until I file for D. Thanks for the support.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10
I don't understand WHY you need to talk to him though? What about? The only thing I can think of is to ask for money / discuss finances. You know he will use that as a lever against you so I think the talk will be futile.
Can you not talk to L tomorrow morning and explain sitch and ask advice on how to sort this out quickly?
I know I'm cycling, I'm having a very rough time. Why do I want to talk to WAH about the money? I feel I need to speak up about what he's doing. I've been a pushover and it would be a 180 to stand up for myself. My L said that to just file for D. I just think that communication is important too and not leaving things unsaid.
WAH has NOT told the kids we are getting a divorce. He runs from the topic when I told him he has to tell them. What if I tell him that I'll be cleaning up after his A mess and since he won't take responsibility for the expenses, I'll tell the kids myself.
Maybe I need a 2x4, I don't know. I feel I'm missing on doing something or speaking up.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10
