While I can realate to your wife position to some extent, (she has much healing to do in her 'new life)
I will also share.. comparing where you are at & where my StBX is at is like night & day.
I will share that DB'ers like you & Distressed67 give spouses like me who were/are married to spouses like you & him used to be & my StBX still are, you give us "hope" that significant positive changes are possible and sustainable.
Blessings to you & your family as during this special time of year.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.