What can I do to save my marriage? Help

[Sleepy]

[/quote] TRUST YOUR FEELINGS. Sounds fishy. She is snooping on your phone, and wants to to snoop hers.

We project what we believe. If she believes she is being untrustworthy, then she believes you are also. She wants to catch you doing what she is doing so she can BLAME YOU FOR THIS.[/quote]

My feeling is that she feels that she has lost my trust and wants it back, but it is confusing that she would want this but would want a divorce too. She says the guy that she was seeing was married. Still.... Going out to lunch 4 x (thats what she said), on the phone 100's of times, constant texting. Just stop cold turkey, something hot and heavy. I caught it about a 8 weeks into it.

Another troubling thing that she said to me was that it wasn't physical but she would have gone there if she had the opportunity. She also said that if I hadn't found out she would have waited until the kids went to college, then split. That makes a guy feel real good. How can you ignore that [censored].