I don't have much to say. Yes the sense of loss is so deep. It's just like if someone has passed on, there will be times when you so miss the friendship, intimacy, oneness.
You can't make the WAS come back, nor that friendship, any of what you had.. Maybe they will one day, but you have your life to live now. Acceptance is necessary, and time helps.
Wishing you a blessed Christmas and a great new year.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.