The advise I got here after I exposed the EA, was to tell the 4th person about the affair. Be calm, cool, short and just the facts only, with the unknowing other spouse. Watch the EA dissappear, especially after the way you described it. They made a choice to do something wrong, not you. There are consequences to all our actions. You will hear repeatedly, the only way to save the marriage is to end the affair first. Daylight is the best disinfectant. Puppy Dog Tails is the resident expert on affair exposure/timing, but he might be fed up with all us newcomers not following his good advice.
