Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Who ever cooks makes for the both of you. So if he is making something he cooks extra and puts it in a tupperware container for you. You do the same for him.

Yes, BUT I have been cooking now 99% time. So how do I transition to sharing that responsibility with him? Please help explain. And do you mean literally scooping it into tupperware? I can envision cooking it but leaving it on the stove for him to help himself although that is how I have been doing it. So...?

I think it's time that I explain how I took him for granted. Now I do know that ultimately, HE is the one who is responsible fo his A, due to self esteem issues. But let me reveal my wrongdoings:
1) I worked 60hours per week (from 2004-2008; 2008 I slowed down and he started A)
2)I talked to fellow teacher girlfriends on the phone, venting, 3-4 nights per week
3)I neglected housework; we were 50% but b/c I worked so hard and was burned out, I just wanted to "veg" on the weekends and he silently picked up the slack
4) he cooked 90% time
5) he managed 100% finances/bills
6) he worked on house
7) he comforted/supported me
8) he listened to me
9) he spent time with me; we were joined at the hip


My contributions? Admiration-I expressed how grateful I was and let him know he did a great job at whatever he did. Companionship.Affection. Sex.(lots at first, then little, then working back up to "medium") Unconditional love. I planned our activities.

So yes, I contributed emotionally. But I neglected him when I worked extra and talked on the phone (minimum 45 minutes), and he took care of all the other stuff that goes into living with someone. He told me that he just did those things so they would get completed and he doesn't care who does it. But I found it hard to believe. I told him he would get resentful. I didn't know how to get closer to him; how to talk about feelings and fears and to ask him about his. We are both conflict avoiders.