Ok, when I confronted my W, the next morning, she said that she didn't see anyway to fix this now, as if the fact that it was now out in the open somehow changed how she felt about our M. The fact is that being confronted is uncomfortable and you are bursting her bubble by doing so. Affairs thrive in secrecy so many WAS become angry when confronted because you are upsetting the balance of things.
Don't threaten to ruin their careers, this is controlling and won't work. As Greek said, if she is going to continue in the A, you will not be able to tolerate her living in the marital home. You are not controlling her, you can't make her stop having the A. You are allowing her to make a choice
