So sorry that you are here, especially during the holidays but you are already getting great advice. As far as the affection that you are getting, it may be that your W is very confused about what she wants and therefore needs to keep her options open. I think Puppy Dog Tails (the local affair expert) had a good analogy about keeping plates spinning on sticks. My W is in an affair and my experience was that she was more affectionate with me prior to me confronting about the A. While the affection feels good, as long as the A persists, you will make no real progress on improving your M. That is why, as Greek and R2C mentioned, your first order of business is to establish boundaries. Make certain that you have boundaries have clearly defined consequences or they will be ineffective. Whether you confront before or after Christmas is your choice but you will need to confront at some point. Confronting was empowering for me and I personally think it is the only way to begin to get the respect of you W back.
Stay strong, I know how bad this experience is but there is always hope and you will make it through it. Use the folks on this forum as a sounding board to make sure you are making the right moves and never act out of emotion.
