Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

Here's how you should have responded to him giving you D papers:

"It's about time you finally did something about it. I have decided that I don't want to be married to someone who just walks out of his commitments. I want to spend my life with a real man who takes responsibility for his actions and will make our relationship his number one priority."

At this point all you should focus on is getting a settlement worked up to account for all the money you've given him while he was finishing school and move on.

You still need to work on detachment because you're obviously not there. If you're still thinking that you can somehow make him see the error of his ways then you're still tying your happiness up in his actions. I know you want him to acknowledge that you're right, but that's never going to happen. Stop trying to rationalize the irrational.

Your comments about now you've become the wife he wanted bother me a bit. To me, it sounds like you're just making changes for him, not for yourself.

I know you're hurting right now and I'm sorry for that. But it won't get any better until you do it for the right reasons. Move on with your life because that's what is best for you.