You are correct. Everyone has to do what works for them.
So true, I’ve learned. There is a lot commonality in our sitch’s, and certainly some general guidelines. But human beings, relationships, and especially affairs are complex critters. There is no one-size-fits-all answer.
Quote:
You are getting information from a lot of different sources; so just don't get confused about what to do. Stay focused and keep feeling like you are at this moment.
I was confused, but honestly, I’m not any more. You’re so right. We get so much input from well-meaning people who say, “Do this. Do this. Don’t do that” that often agree but are sometimes conflicting. We’re so desperate for answers and we want to fix the sitch NOW. I want this sitch to get better NOW. But what is exactly the right answer? Who do I listen to? What do I do?
What I’ve learned to do is take the “best of the best” as it applies to my sitch. For example, Puppy (and others) are very good, and wise, about saying, “Don’t say/do that! It makes you look weak!! Instead, say/do this…” On the other hand, “Breaking Free From the Affair” by Bob Huizenga helped me to detach. He doesn’t use the term “detach”. But “break free” has the same connotation. Understanding the nature of the beast (infidelity) has helped me to detach so that I can follow the advice of Puppy and others, if that makes sense. Huizenga can’t cover everything (and doesn’t imply that he’s the end-all) I’ll still need help and support.
This is a process and it’s far from over. But I’m well on my way to healing and controlling my emotions and my life.
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
