- resume your activities - supplicating her by doing everything at home, paying all the bills and buying lunches and gifts just communicates to her that you know you aren't good enough by yourself and have to add things like gifts to make you equal her value and she will disrespect you and treat you extremely poorly for that, trust me, it has been documented as a regular occurrence on these forums to the point where it may just be an involuntary response on her part - agree with the divorce - tell you spoke to your lawyer already, you'll get the process started in the new year - you will fight for joint custody and you will get it, don't settle for anything less - tell her that you have told your lawyer that she hit you, it's documented and she will keep her damn hands to herself, this isn't OK behavior, it doesn't matter if a man hits a woman or a woman hits a man, it's about respect & human dignity, if you don't do it to her, she isn't allowed to do it to you, why did you tolerate this? - master bedroom.... you know what i'm going to say because i've told umpteen number of guys on this site the same thing.... She strayed, she wants to leave the marriage, she can sleep in another room, you're going to sleep in the master bedroom again
Remember this is all counter-intuitive, you thought that by being super nice and being extra attentive and buying gifts and doing more around the house you were going to win her back but it did the opposite, her instincts are only being validated by your wuss behavior. She wants a masculine partner who can stand up to her because if you can't stand up to her how would you ever be able to stand up for her? She gave you a clue about her encounter with the old bf, he made her "feel safe", that's because he doesn't kiss her ass so you can stop anytime soon and that means reclaiming your bedroom. Listen you're going to come up with a million excuses why you can't, and I'm really not going to give two $hits about any of those excuses and really neither is your wife. No excuses, no explanations, just take back your bedroom, when she kicked you out of the bedroom she knew she could control you and women can't respect men they can control, and they can't love them, what happens invariably is that they treat these wussy men horribly, they become mean, spiteful, cruel and pretty much an alien person to the woman you thought you married. - your wife is free to leave, free to divorce you, free to see the other man, it's up to her but you have power in your choices as well. - tell her YOU'VE DECIDED that you are taking back the bedroom and she can do whatever she wants - since she doesn't mind seeing the OM tell her you're going to see what big deal about this was and see your ex girlfriend or maybe just start dating someone new
- You can't continue doing what you've been doing.
- You live scared of her and her reactions so that means she controls you and she can't respect you because of that - learn this, know it, burn it on your forehead so you can read it every time you look in a mirror.
Stop living scared, be a great person for yourself, reclaim your hobbies and working out, go out with friends, start "social interactions" (ie. dating, nothing serious), be a great parent and reclaim the life that your wife so callously threw away because she didn't value it anymore.
It can't just be about you working all the time, you have to start getting a real personal life aside from being a parent and a physician
And if she hits you again, you call the police, never mind this bull$hit about being a man and you can take her physical abuse, she wouldn't put up with it and she counts on you claiming on to that stereotype and not doing anything or believe that you are equal to her value, you are equal, never forget that.
