Got an idea. What if the reason she says she "can't promise" is b/c what if OM reaches out to her and she...answers a text, or picks up the call - just to say "stop contact" or "I'm not doing this anymore." Technically, she's broken her promise. I'm just guessing and in a way, trying to credit what she said about "You are not sharing me with OM." Maybe she is just that literal. And if so, you could put some words in her mouth - "If OM ever calls you, emails or texts, you will be in the clear with me if you immediately forward the text/email to me...or show me the missed call that you didn't take." In case she is concerned that those kinds of things count against her. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I'm just guessing and in a way, trying to credit what she said about "You are not sharing me with OM." Maybe she is just that literal.
That should be easy enough to clarify, as you point out. But somehow I think she still wants the itty-bitty bit of contact, to "prove" that it's nothing big.
Originally Posted By: Greek
And if so, you could put some words in her mouth - "If OM ever calls you, emails or texts, you will be in the clear with me if you immediately forward the text/email to me...or show me the missed call that you didn't take."
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
W could tell Him "My family and M is more important than you are, please don't contact me and i won't contact you."
If down the road sometime there is a hello or something in passing ( we do live in a small town) than I'd probably handle that.
But it has to start with a cold turkey STOP.
How much easier is it to start the repairing process?
It sounds good to me.
If you haven't done it yet, have her draft an no-contact email to OM that you read, approve, and send for her (so she can't change anything afterwards).
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
get caught? phone? see each other less? slow it down see each other when we can? less?
i'm not living 18 more years this way?
Josh was right
Sounds like a plan to me, What do you think?
- finding "notes" while cleaning a car sounds like something she wrote down on paper Greek, it doesn't sound like email or texts.
Since you know she's still playing you, I'm not one to be spiteful but this kind of knowledge seems to good to give up in an exposure, it would almost be bittersweet to catch them together sometime at a restaurant or what other place they meet, douse them both with whatever they're drinking, make a scene and then walk away smiling LOL!
OB I'll tell you it's ugly what's happening here and she still feels like she can play and deceive you so that you don't proceed with a divorce that way she continue seeing the OM and keep you on the side for whatever purpose she has in store.
Or... here's another idea. Write real responses to her notes using a different colored ink pen and make them funny and end it with a note of your own, like "How stupid did you think I am?! Have a nice life sweety pie, TA TA!!!" and leave it in the driver's seat of the car, some nice little imagery indicating you're in the driver's seat.
