Looking for Advice

[Greek]

I had made up my mind to confront this weekend, but just couldn't because of the physical affection I have been receiving that I have been longing for.

Another thing I forgot to mention is the pattern. The OM is married with 3 kids. On weekends, their communication is much, much less (but still a little there). Every weekend my W and I make progress only to lose ground during the week as the W and OM communicate

Gutw'ing~~~~
I'm sorry about the mess around you. However ~~~ all is not lost. There is much you can do and that can be done to repair your M. You may not want to hear this but #1 on the list is lay down a boundary about the OM. I'm not sure why your W is turning on the affection for you at this time - might be goodness - but no matter what it is about...if she is texting 40-50 times a day, spending 30-60 minutes per day on call with OM, you will NOT be able to repair or save your M. That's a fact, Jack. As long as her feet are in both camps, no one is going to win, esp. not Gutwrenching!

Unfortunate timing here so close to Christmas. My thought is that you SIT ON what you know - but continue to watch and gather info about their contact. Then, DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS, sit down with W and tell her what you know and what you boundary is concerning it. "W, this much contact between you and OM is inappropriate for a married woman. I have decided that I will not share your attention and confidences with another man and I ask that you stop this contact now. We have some issues within our M that need our full attention and I would like to work on that with you. If you will not stop all contact, you will have to find another place to live - I'll give you three weeks to arrange that. Also, I intend to contact his W to let her know about the EA. I will not share my W with another man." Do not argue with her. Do not dispute her when she says they are just friends. You have said all that needs to be known by her at this time - your boundary. Then she can make her cnoice.

Greek