Getting back on track ...

[P17]

Thanks for your input guys.

I suppose I am really hurt that W's family has disowned / abandoned myself and D so completely. While I wasn't a perfect husband and own 50% of the problems we had, I don't believe that I did anything to warrant their actions. 3 months of no contact from them to even ask about D does really stick the knife in.

While all of us agree that it's not D's fault and she shouldn't have contact. It's also not D's fault that W left but her family did abandon her. Anyway, that's just the way I see it. I suppose a part of me probably wants to punish them and I won't admit it to myself, if I'm really honest. That isn't fair or right though.

I will make sure MIL has contact if she wants it and the gifts get to D.

Another question. When I speak to MIL I wasn't going to say that I wouldn't step her seeing D (and I wouldn't unless it's not beneficial to D). While I don't want any W talk brought up, she may ask me about the sitch between D and W and to be honest I'm really not sure what to say.

I stopped contact for numerous reasons, some of which I have above. However I stopped contact between her and D for a couple of reasons:

1. D was seeing W and it was like she never left (her own words) and that was giving her false hope.

2. D needs to realise that married people do not have boyfriends and girlfriends and that what W did was wrong.

3. D needs a role model in her life to guide her - an adulterer isn't the kind of role model I want in my D's life.

4. W was cake eating

5. W didn't contact me once between visits to find out how D was (which was just really strange behaviour for her) and I felt like as she had moved on I actually wanted to let her move on completely. That sounds weird, even for me to write it, but it was a consideration.

I have no idea how to approach this without sounding like I'm lecturing or controlling. I also feel like whatever say I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Suggestions for a mini-script of what to say?