I do need a healthy dose of self-esteem, but it's hard to get it when so many important things in your life are so messed up! - antlers
This is victim speak. Victims say things are done to them. - GIMA
On the contrary, I was the root cause of most of them! And I've beat myself up for over a year now, and it hasn't helped the situation one bit. And I've eaten alot of sh!t from her too during this time...tons of it! I validated, and I owned it. I had to be honest with myself though in order to get better and learn. Don't you think it's been enough time of validating and eating plate after plate of sh!t?
Man, it is NEVER just 1 person who brings about a D (unless you are talking about abuse/chronic infidelity/substance abuse). Own your part, and I mean 50%, make your needed changes, then forgive yourself. As much as you want to, you cannot change the past.
Another thought for you. If you made the changes you needed to make, and she still doesn't want you, what does that tell you? Maybe YOU are less a part of the reason she is unhappy than you thought. And maybe, if you had been the H she claims she wanted over the years, she would still be where she is today.
At a certain point, after enough plates of sh1t, you just have to say enough, I've done all I can. And if that's not good enough for you, I cannot help you out of your unhappiness.
What has your W done to work on the M? Has she changed at all? Has she lifted a finger to improve the things she, no doubt, needs to change?
